Everly Ryan

Historical Romance Author

Beaux and Belles - Courtship in the Antebellum South by Debra Glass

Debra Glass5 Comments

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Below you’ll find authors of historical romances set in a wide variety of time periods. Perhaps by participating in our Grand Tour you’ll discover some new authors for your future reading pleasure. Hop around to your heart’s content, feel free to comment on the posts, hunt for answers to the authors’ questions, and perhaps you’ll be one of our 25 lucky prize winners (see contest details below)…although you’re already a winner if you find a new story to read, do you not agree? 

As part of the History Lovers Grand Tour Scavenger Hunt, I'm posting on courtship and dating in the Antebellum South. I'll be giving away a digital copy of my erotic historical romance, Lover for Ransom, set in Reconstruction Era Tennessee to one lucky commenter. Be sure to visit the other authors' blogs to entered for prizes both big and small!

One of the most exciting times in a nineteenth century girl's life was when she became of age to attend balls and begin courtship. 

Rigorous courtship rules were designed to protect the girl's reputation from any stain of impropriety. 

Courtship and dating were not the same thing. Dates were casual affairs where a young couple would decide whether to pursue the relationship or not. Courtship was serious stuff and usually the next step toward exclusivity, engagement and marriage. 

Courtship was often more about a business merger than romantic love. 

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Prior to entering into courtship, the young male hopeful would first have to obtain permission from the head of the female's family before he could pay his addresses formally to his intended. 

Particular parents would thoroughly investigate the beau's family, his wealth, and connections. Those who didn't measure up were turned down in spite of the couple's wishes.

But all was not lost if the couple wasn't given permission and still wanted to be together. They could always defy propriety and carry on a scandalous clandestine relationship or even (gasp) elope. Elopements doubtless had many an anxious mother reaching for her smelling salts.

Young women were discouraged from entertaining suitors belonging to lower social classes. But this worked both ways. Young men looking for brides, desired women of their same class who possessed property. A Caswell Matrimonyist writing in the Raleigh Register of October 12, 1809, states: “If he is informed that she is rich but not pretty he replies, "Let beauty be hanged; property is my object."

In Gone With the Wind, when Ashley Wilkes marries his cousin, Melanie Hamilton, thus keeping property and wealth within the family, Scarlett assumes he couldn't have possibly married that plain wren for love and must therefore still be secretly in love with her.

Courtship of the antebellum era included writing letters, and paying visits to the girl's home, which were always chaperoned. Elaborate schemes were often concocted to steal a kiss or two when the chaperone nodded off or temporarily looked the other way.   Beaux were often permitted to take their sweethearts for a carriage ride, to be seen together at church, or to go for a walk. Among the Southern aristocracy daughters customarily accompanied the family to a ball rather than be escorted by a suitor. Among the lower classes, the young men would most likely "gallant the girls to the frolic."

Courtship almost always led to marriage and once a proposal was tendered and accepted, engagements were short and were not announced, as is today's custom, other than to a few family members and friends. 

Many of these formalities evolved at the onset of the war due to the wedding craze as belles wanted to marry their beaux before they went off to war. 


Lover for Ransom is set two years after the war and open courtship between my characters, Ransom Byrne and his sister's teacher, Cathleen Ryan, doesn't start until the end of the story, but they do steal several opportunities to spend time alone which most certainly would have further stained Cathleen's already dubious reputation as a suffragette and a Yankee. 


Copyright © DEBRA GLASS, 2013

All Rights Reserved, Ellora's Cave Publishing, Inc.

“Don’t you ever read anything for pleasure?”
She toyed with the earpieces of her glasses, her mind fixed on the way his velvety drawl had played havoc with the word pleasure. She cleared her throat. “There are far too many important things to read to waste my poor eyesight on frivolities, Mr. Byrne.”
He closed her book, set it on the table and stood. Cathleen flinched as his leg brushed hers when he passed on his way to the bookcase. He opened it and pressed his fingertip to his lips in thought as he perused its contents.
Cathleen studied his casual stance. His weight shifted to one leg and his head cocked to the side. He looked back at her, stared so long it made her insides quiver and then turned back to the collection and removed a slender book from the shelf.
“I shall read to you then,” he said with a smile and he returned to his chair. “To protect your poor eyesight from…frivolities.”
Cathleen gulped as his long fingers opened the book and he thumbed through the pages. It looked like a child’s volume in his hands and she couldn’t help but wonder what he’d chosen.
“Ah, here,” he said, placing his elbow casually on the armrest of his chair to hold the book at a comfortable height. “It was many and many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea, that a maiden lived there that you may know by the name of Annabel Lee.”
Edgar Allan Poe. Of course she was familiar with the famed Baltimore author. But she’d read his works in braille, and certainly had never heard them read aloud by a man with such a hauntingly husky voice. This night—this moment, with the clock’s pendulum ticking off the seconds in time with the poem’s meter and the flickering glow of the lamp—seemed to be made for the dark, beautifully macabre poem about a woman who’d died before her time.
“For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of the beautiful Annabel Lee,” Ransom continued.
Cathleen closed her eyes, picturing a pair of young lovers walking hand in hand on a stormy beach. Ransom’s voice transported her and she felt the anguish of the author who’d lost his love only to find himself frequented by her ghost.
“And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side, of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride, in the sepulcher there by the sea, in her tomb by the sounding sea.”
Eyes still closed, Cathleen sat in the stillness, absorbing the song contained in the words. When her lashes fluttered open, she was surprised at the tear that traced down her cheek. Blushing, she swept it away. “Very nice, Mr. Byrne.”
He raised his eyebrows in mock warning.
She giggled. She actually giggled. Closing her eyes for a split second, she struggled to compose herself. She was acting like a bashful schoolgirl. “Ransom,” she corrected, her voice but a breath.
In that instant, something had suddenly changed between them and she was at a loss to decipher it.
Staring, he inhaled. “With your hair loose, you reminded me of the woman in that poem.”
Her eyes widened. “Dead?”
He chuckled without mirth. “No. Wild and windswept.”
This time, Cathleen did begin to smooth her hair down.
“No,” he said. “No. Don’t touch it. It’s perfect the way it is.” He must have realized he’d said too much. “I mean, it’s only you and me. There’s no need for pretense.”
Cathleen nodded. Her gaze fell to the brown leather covered book in his hand. “Do you believe such love exists?”
He snorted and closed the book. “This was the fancy of a man who imbibed too much and who thought too much. Love like that is for the young and foolish—for people who haven’t experienced the things I have.”
Cathleen gnawed her bottom lip. “Are you referring to your time during the war?”
He suddenly looked uncomfortable. His big and masculine exterior seemed incongruous with his sudden unease. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I saw and did things no living human being should ever have to see or do. Things that’ll make you hate yourself.”
Cathleen didn’t know how to respond. Newspapers told of the hardships and combat. She’d seen soldiers boarding trains to join the fighting. She’d watched neighbors don their widow’s weeds. She herself had received a telegram informing her that her brother had been killed. But even when the war had come into her very home, it had always seemed a distant thing. But these Tennesseans had lived the war. This man had fought it. Federal troops had occupied their home. While on the train, she’d overheard tales about frightening guerilla raids from both sides, about men who didn’t live by any code of decency, who took what they wanted and killed indiscriminately. These families had lived day to day, wondering if their hard-earned food stores, their homes or even their very lives would be taken from them.
“No,” Ransom continued. “The war was anything but glory.”
Still, Cathleen remained uncharacteristically silent. While she pitied the plight of these people, in her eyes, the war had been a necessary evil, a vehicle through which an entire race had broken the bonds of slavery and declared themselves free. And yet, she didn’t feel free to admit her thoughts on the matter to Ransom Byrne. Not tonight.
“What about you, Cathleen?” he asked, his gaze finding and holding hers, daring her to correct him. “Do you believe in that kind of love?” His tone was almost mocking.
Realizing he’d shifted the conversation back to the poem, she let out a laugh. “Of course not. In fact, I don’t agree with marriage at all and I shall never marry.”
“How did you come to this conclusion?”
“Contrary to what you might think, I haven’t chosen a life of spinsterhood because I am bookish and outspoken, not to mention plain.” She straightened, confused at the way a belief she’d always maintained with pride, now hurt. “No. I simply do not accept as true that a woman should have to marry and live out her days in subjugation.”
“Subjugation?” he asked and then laughed. “I’ve always thought that was the other way around. All the married men I know are pretty beholden to their wives.”
“That’s but a puerile joke. We all know that marriage gives husbands rights to a woman’s livelihood and even her body, if he so chooses to claim them. For a woman, marriage is nothing but legalized…rape.”
This time, both his eyebrows shot up. “That’s a mighty strong word.”
“A married man can demand his rights anytime he chooses. Therefore, if a woman is forced into coitus with him, it is legalized rape.” Cathleen lifted her chin, awaiting an argument. It was a strong word. But he needed to know how she felt about subjugation. She needed him to know it.
Instead, he surprised her. “Don’t you ever feel desire?”
Yes, I’m feeling it this very instant.

Ransom Byrne has been ravaged by guilt since an illness rendered his little sister blind. The former Confederate cavalry officer has resolved to make amends by hiring a Yankee tutor who’ll hopefully restore order to his sister’s life. Once accomplished, he’ll be free to leave Byrne’s End.

From the moment she steps off the train in Tennessee, Cathleen Ryan makes a startling first impression. With her feminist ideas, the irrepressible Bostonian quickly outrages everyone—especially Ransom. He deems the bespectacled teacher too uptight and prim for his tastes. Appearances, however, are deceiving. She tenders decadent proposals that shock and intrigue him, and sultry nights spent submitting to his every illicit request offer them both love and redemption.

But when her steadfast convictions attract the attention of dangerous men, Cathleen risks losing her chance of becoming more than just a lover for Ransom.

A Romantica® historical erotic romance from Ellora’s Cave

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The prize I am offering is a digital download (reader's choice of formats) of Lover for Ransom! One lucky commenter will randomly be chosen from a drawing to win!

Here’s my question for the scavenger hunt: If a couple could not obtain permission from the head of the household to court, what scandalous step could they have taken in order to marry?

Click on the History Lovers Grand Tour page to fill in the answer, and you may continue on from there. Enjoy!

History Lovers Grand Tour Authors

Rue Allyn • Amylynn Bright • Collette Cameron • Téa CooperBeverley Eikli • Susana EllisAileen Fish • Debra Glass Amy Hearst • Evangeline Holland • Piper HuguleyEliza Knight Kristen Koster • Cora Lee Georgie Lee • Suzi LoveDenise Lynn • Deborah Macgillivray • Barbara Monajem Shelly MunroElla Quinn • Eva Scott Shereen Vedam Elaine Violette 


1.      Each author will offer a prize for a contest, the specifics of which is set up entirely by her. The contest will be open to all participants, regardless of geographic location. For logistical purposes, authors may substitute a digital prize (gift card, etc.) of equal value for another prize that might prove difficult to mail to a distant location.

2.      The Grand Prize for the Scavenger Hunt will be awarded to the participant with the most correct answers to the authors’ scavenger hunt questions.  In case of a tie, the winner will be chosen randomly.

3.      The winners will be posted on the History Lovers Grand Tour page the following week.

Scavenger Hunt Details

·        Click on the above links to each author’s blog. The blog tour entry can be identified by the graphic in the upper right corner of the post. If it is not the top post, look for the graphic in a prominent location on the sidebar, and click on it to find the blog tour entry.

·        Read the blog post and the author’s short answer question at the end. Locate the answer to the question, then click on the link to the History Lovers Grand Tour page and type in the answer next to the author’s name. Be sure to fill in the your name and email address!

·        You may go back to same page and read more of the author’s post (excerpt, etc.) or you may click on another author’s name on the answer sheet and repeat the process.

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